NFL PICKS! Week 17

Last week: 10-6
Year to date: 153-87 (.638)

(Home teams denoted in bold.)

DeSean Jackson and Washington will likely make the playoffs if they can complete a regular-season sweep of the Giants Sunday. (Brad Penner/USA TODAY Sports)

Sunday, January 1

New England (13-2) 31, Miami (10-5) 17
I'd say look for this to be a Divisional Round matchup in two weeks' time, but there's no way the Dolphins get out of the Wild Card game.

Indianapolis (7-8) 25, Jacksonville (3-12) 18
It will be the battle of field goal kickers as the Colts reach 8-8 for the second straight season. I'm hoping a six-for-six field goal performance from Adam Vinatieri will help me secure my first fantasy football championship in three years.

Tampa Bay (8-7) 29, Carolina (6-9) 21
For the Bucs to clinch a playoff spot, about seven other games have to finish a certain way. If this is anything like a certain team about 10 years ago (it may have been five seasons ago and I don't remember the team, so who knows), every single one of the other games will finish exactly how they need to for Tampa to get in, but the Buccaneers will lose anyway. I'm still picking Tampa Bay to win, but not get in the postseason.

Minnesota (7-8) 19, Chicago (3-12) 7
The Vikings are officially the sixth team in the Super Bowl era to start a season 5-0 or better and miss out on the playoffs. Hopefully their defense will play with some motivation against a highly inefficient Bears squad, because again, I want to win that fantasy championship.

Pittsburgh (10-5) 42, Cleveland (1-14) 2
There's no way the Cleveland Browns go into Pittsburgh in December, coming off the emotional high of their first win in 18 games, and win a second straight game. You can take that to the bank.

Jets (4-11) 30, Buffalo (7-8) 17
The Bills need a little continuity at head coach. Firing Rex Ryan after what could have been two straight .500 seasons seems a little hasty to me. Buffalo is now on its ninth head coach (interims included) in the 20 seasons since Marv Levy's final year with the team.

Dallas (13-2) 41, Philadelphia (6-9) 26
Ezekiel Elliott needs 178 yards to beat Eric Dickerson's rookie rushing record. I hope the Cowboys let Zeke try to break that record because, for the third time, I NEED FANTASY POINTS.

Houston (9-6) 20, Tennessee (8-7) 13
I'm a Titans fan, as most of you well know. I can't even stomach what happened to that team last week. On the bright side, 8-8 is way better than 3-13.

Baltimore (8-7) 24, Cincinnati (5-9-1) 16
The Ravens, with a win last week, would have had a chance to sweep the AFC North and earn a playoff bid with this week's game. However, the Ravens did not win last week and this game is essentially meaningless for them. Way to go, John Harbaugh.

Kansas City (11-4) 31, San Diego (5-10) 28
With a win and a Raiders loss, the Chiefs can still earn a first-round bye in the playoffs. But first they have to complete a season sweep of the AFC West with a win against the team that just lost to the Cleveland Browns.

Denver (8-7) 17, Oakland (12-3) 15
With nothing to lose now that their playoff hopes are dashed, the Broncos will throw everything they have into their 2016 finale. Nothing would send Broncos fans off on a happier note than if their team could stop their sworn enemies from winning the AFC West. The Derek Carr-less Raiders are absolutely beatable in the team's regular-season finale.

Seattle (9-5-1) 24, San Francisco (2-13) 6
The Seahawks need a little help from New Orleans to get a first round bye in the upcoming postseason; the teams play at the same time so Seattle needs not to scoreboard-watch lest the Hawks get distracted and slip up against should-be-an-easy-win San Francisco. Who knows, though, maybe Pete Carroll's squad would prefer having to play during Wild Card weekend.

Arizona (6-8-1) 29, Los Angeles (4-11) 12
Thank God the first season back on the West Coast is about to be over for Stan Kroenke and the Rams. The nightmare will continue through the beginning of 2017, as L.A. gave up its first round draft pick next year to grab a quarterback that barely contributed for the Rams all year.

Atlanta (10-5) 38, New Orleans (7-8) 31
After starting hot, the Falcons' quiet second half could result in a first round bye with a win, or as low as the NFC's fourth seed with a loss and wins by Seattle and Detroit. A 10-6 Falcons team could still end up hosting a Divisional Round game if the Seahawks and Lions both lose, but Dan Quinn's squad would much rather clinch things up with a win than have to worry about other games.

Washington (8-6-1) 41, Giants (10-5) 27
As long as the nightcap doesn't end in a tie, Washington will earn the NFC's last playoff berth with a win against the Giants. Everything is in Washington's favor; the Giants have absolutely nothing to play for seeding-wise and have a losing record on the road. Plus, Kirk Cousins is on my fantasy football team which means he needs to have another spectacular passing performance so I can win the championship.

Green Bay (9-6) 28, Detroit (9-6) 27
It's the Packers, on January 1, with probably a playoff berth and definitely an NFC North championship at stake. The only people who are picking against Green Bay in the regular season's final game are fools, Michiganders, and Vikings fans. I'm not saying the Lions don't have a chance, but I'm not going to pick against the Pack with this much on the line.