08 December 2016

NFL PICKS! Week 13

Last week: 11-4
Year to date: 119-73 (.620)

(Home teams denoted in bold.)

Spencer Ware and the Chiefs aim to sweep Oakland in the Thursday night marquee matchup. (Kelly L. Cox/USA TODAY Sports)
Thursday, December 8

Kansas City (9-3) 26, Oakland (10-2) 24
As I mentioned last week, the Chiefs are unbeaten so far against teams in the toughest division in football. A win against the Raiders would give Kansas City the AFC West lead and put the Chiefs in the fast lane for a first-round playoff bye.

Sunday, December 11

Washington (6-5-1) 24, Philadelphia (5-7) 23
The Eagles were beaten by Cincinnati last week. Moreover, the Eagles were soundly defeated by the previously three-win Bengals. Philly is riding a three-game loss streak, and none of those games were even close. Washington is still in the thick of the playoff hunt and will play like a playoff team in a divisional road win.

Houston (6-6) 24, Indianapolis (6-6) 23
I've gone back and forth on this pick since the Colts walloped the Jets on Monday Night Football, but in the end Houston is still the AFC South's defending champion, and the Texans have an extra day of preparation. The Men of Texas will bounce back and stay on top of their division.

Cincinnati (4-7-1) 24, Cleveland (0-12) 19
I don't even think the CBS affiliate in Columbus will carry this game. There is literally no intrigue to this installment of the most brotherly rivalry in sports, unless Paul Brown's firstborn team finds a way to finally get off the schneid.

Denver (8-4) 24, Tennessee (6-6) 23
The Titans have had an extra week to prepare, so this one will be closer than anyone would've predicted at the start of the season. Look for a late special teams or coaching blunder by the Two-Toned Tennesseans to be the game's deciding factor.

Arizona (5-6-1) 23, Miami (7-5) 21
Two weeks ago, Miami almost lost to the league's second-worst team, suggesting that their six-game win streak was a lot of fluff. Last week, Baltimore exposed the "fraudulent" Dolphins and all of their many, many flaws. The Cardinals will get back to .500 (granted, never over - I made the mistake of predicting that one too many times) with an easy road win.

Detroit (8-4) 23, Chicago (3-9) 19
Well, Matt Barkley and the Chicago offense finally got clicking last week. Too bad this week they're playing Matt Stafford and a Lions team that finally had a lead going into the fourth quarter last week (read: Detroit is red-hot).

Pittsburgh (7-5) 24, Buffalo (6-6) 23
This could be a trap game for the Steelers. Coming off a huge home win over an almost-certain playoff team in the Giants, Pittsburgh makes the three-and-a-half hour trek north to face a .500 Bills squad. I'm still taking Big Ben in the December snow, but cautiously so.

San Diego (5-7) 27, Carolina (4-8) 26
With two of their last four games against the two best teams in the AFC West, the Chargers have to win across the country against the Panthers to have any chance at finishing .500 on the season. On Carolina's end, a loss would ensure the Panthers their worst season since 2012.

Minnesota (6-6) 23, Jacksonville (2-10) 17
How desperately do the Vikings need this win? The last time Minnesota won on the road, Major League Baseball's regular season hadn't finished yet. The Vikings defense should put on a show, which will help my chances to win the fantasy football playoffs.

Jets (3-9) 24, San Francisco (1-11) 23
Everyone saw that the failure-at-quarterback-turned-failure-at-activism-who-shall-remain-nameless got benched because he couldn't even beat Chicago, right? This game will be so dismal, the current forecast is predicting rain in San Francisco from now until gameday and I wouldn't be surprised if the precipitation carries throughout this sorry excuse for a football contest.

Atlanta (7-5) 27, Los Angeles (4-8) 21
Don't look now, but the Falcons' lead on the NFC South, once a comfortable two games, has all but vanished. Conference wins and huge point margins will help Atlanta in December, both of which are reasonable goals against the Rams - who, by the way, inexplicably extended by two years the contract of a head coach who is en route to five losing seasons in as many years with the franchise (and, I might add, hasn't had a winning season with any team since 2008. Almost an entire decade of mediocrity. How is Jeff Fisher even still in the league?).

Tampa Bay (7-5) 27, New Orleans (5-7) 26
The Buccaneers will likely need to win three of their last four to make the postseason, including both parts of the New Orleans series. There's nothing like December football in West Florida, so they should get off to a good start against the struggling Saints.

Green Bay (6-6) 26, Seattle (8-3-1) 24
Each of the last four meetings between these teams has been claimed by the home team. Even though the Packers have been decidedly un-Packerish this season, I expect this trend to continue as Aaron Rodgers once again overcomes the lack of talent around him in yet another push for the playoffs.

Giants (8-4) 24, Dallas (11-1) 23
The Giants were the last team to have beaten the Cowboys, way back in the season's first week. My prediction is that Dallas will finish the regular season 14-2, with both losses to its division foe. This will be a fine Sunday night contest.

Monday, December 12

New England (10-2) 21, Baltimore (7-5) 19
At the current time, Baltimore leads Pittsburgh in the AFC North by virtue of a tiebreak. A loss in possibly adverse Foxboro weather conditions could knock the Ravens out of the driver's seat in their hunt for a division crown. Side note, what an awesome slate of primetime games this week!

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