To all the Gretchen Wieners out there...

This post was originally written by my girlfriend, Amy Vu, a former editorial writer of the year. I feel that this is a perspective that really needs to be shared. Please share this with everyone you know, not for my sake or for her sake, but for the sake of everyone who has been bullied or is an indirect victim of bullying. Thanks.

I was bullied in high school. Not in a clear, obtrusive way. No, I was bullied behind my back.

There were whispers, of things I hadn't done nor would ever do. Somehow, these whispers always got back to me. It was destructive, although I didn't realize at the time how much of an impact those whispers had on me. In my eyes, I was smart. I was pretty, I was newspaper editor and was in this or that honor society. Everyone knows I was taking a million AP classes, so what did all this girls have against me?

All of these girls, all of these Gretchen Wieners. All of these mean girls.

Let me tell you something. I'm a junior in college, and it has taken me quite a long time to get past the bullying. Those girls were my friends at some point. All of them have been removed from my friends list. But do I still remember some of the instances when they would look at me and whisper, laugh as if I couldn't hear? Of course I remember, and I know those words in my yearbook weren't true. You weren't going to miss me, you didn't wish me the best. Those words of "good luck" and "have fun at Samford" - all of those words, you know what they did? They hurt, and so did knowing that I graduated with few close friends.

Bullying leads to depression. It leads to a lack of self-worth, a lowering of self-esteem that no kid should ever have to go through. There are plenty of examples on how bullying negatively affects people. One name: Adam Lanza.

I refuse to call him "the shooter" because I know that he, too, was a person. There is no doubt in my mind that killing is wrong, and even more so when the lives of innocent children are lost in what could have been prevented. However (big gasp), the investigation has shown that Lanza might have suffered from mental health issues. While everyone is debating gun control and their rights, I'm looking at the man. The boy. Adam Lanza, who was twenty years old. Twenty years old!

Those who are bullied need friends.

I had a friend, once. He carried me through high school like no other, being the absolutely selfless person that he is. He kept me from doing harm to myself when I was upset, when I was bullied. Maybe Adam Lanza just needed a friend. Maybe he needed someone to listen. Heck, maybe he just needed a diary. Now, I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I knew the guy personally and that I can read his mind. But one of my passions in life is learning about the human mind. My minor is in psychology. One of the things we talk about in each class is what defines "abnormal" - something that is harmful, hurtful, unhealthy. People don't just decide to pick up weapons, walk into a school and shoot at children. There must be something abnormal. Kids who are bullied, that stuff messes with you and causes you to do abnormal things. Everyone knows this. When you were a child and someone made fun of you, did you scream and cry?

Psychology and mental illness are not the only things to blame for what happened in Connecticut. I'm not saying mental illness led to the shooting. What I am saying is that everyone, including me (for I am not perfect), just needs to listen. Be mindful of what you say and what you do, love your friends and watch out for them. If a friend comes to you crying, give them a hug and listen. Everyone wants attention, when it all comes down to it. Everyone wants to feel loved.

Love is patient and kind.

The life of a sports fan band reporter geek guy

This past weekend, I visited Asheville, N.C. to witness the Samford Bulldogs women's basketball team win their second straight Southern Conference championship.  While there, I served a dual role for the team.  In one role, I supported the men's and women's teams both as a member of the Bulldog Pep Band.  In the other, I reported the stories for the school newspaper.  At the victory celebration on Tuesday morning, I was talking to our athletic director, Martin Newton.  He suggested that I write a story about having both of these responsibilities.  Therefore, I come to the source I know will get published no matter what (that's the great thing about a personal blog) so that this idea can become a reality.

The preparation:  Possibly around the end of Jan Term, Dr. Smisek sent out the yearly "join the basketball tournament pep band" email.  My response: an immediate "yes."  I went last year and enjoyed it immensely.  This year, though our women's basketball team was slightly worse than last year's and our men's was slightly better though still not exceptional, I expected the same sort of atmosphere as last year's tournament in Chattanooga, Tenn.

In the week leading up to the SoCon tournament, I became more anticipatory and even less excited about it.  I wasn't expecting as much fun as last year's (a six-plus hour drive to Asheville is not quite the same as three hours to Chattanooga), and I really didn't want to be away from home too long.  After all, I had classes to attend and, more importantly, a girlfriend I didn't really want to be so far away from.  Knowing I had committed to go, and after a talk with one of my friends who was also going, I put aside my negativity and prepared for the journey.

Day 1: Friday, March 2 - Our men's game began at 6 p.m. Eastern time that night; as a result, we - the band and cheerleaders - were scheduled to depart at 8:00 in the morning, Central time.  8 o'clock rolled around and the bus did not.  I, as well as many of my friends, just wanted to get on the bus and go back to sleep.  Finally, the bus arrived and we pulled out at around 8:35.  With the late departure, and having to stop for lunch, we made it to the Asheville Civic Center with about an hour until tip-off.  The game was Furman-Samford.

From the start, our team's fans had four times more spirit than Furman's, even though they outnumbered us at least 2.5:1.  Part of that was because their band was playing across town at their women's game and didn't arrive until halftime.  However, the story was different on the basketball court.  Furman advanced to the quarterfinals with a 75-66 win, and the men's season was over for Samford.  Having hoped the improved Bulldogs would at least win one game in the tournament, I was disappointed.  There was still the women's team, though.

During the game, I texted my editor: "Hey JT, I'm at the tournament this weekend.  Want me to cover it for the Crimson?"  After the affirmative response, I emailed Zac Schreiber from sports information: "Zac, I need to speak to Coach Tillette about the game for the Crimson sometime before the end of Monday.  I'm in Asheville as long as the women's team is, and my computer power cord is on the fritz.  Let me know by phone and email so I'm sure I'm aware."

Yeah, that's an interesting story, too.  For the past week, my laptop charger had been working off and on.  I ordered a new one a day or two before I left, so it had not arrived before the tournament.  Thus, I was writing and reporting two stories, potentially completely away from home, with a computer that had a limited charge. This became quite the problem the longer we were in Asheville.  I also emailed Drew Windler, Tyler Hood and Jeff Merritt before my battery dwindled to a dangerously low point, and got in touch with Joey Mullins for my women's story.

Day Two: Saturday, March 3- This was the team to be excited about.  Our women's basketball team, the defending conference champions.  Their regular season was not as spectacular as last year's; still, a fourth-place seeding in an eleven-team league is nothing to scoff at.  The competition was against the Elon Phoenix at UNC-Asheville's Kimmel Arena, where just moments before leaving the hotel, I saw Asheville claim the Big South title on television.  The expectations in the band and cheerleaders was a win, but we sure wouldn't have minded going home early.  The Bulldogs dominated.  For dinner, the fare was a fantastic Italian panini and the disappointment of having to inform Amy I'd be another day getting home, at least.  Without the use of my computer, I didn't do any reporting.  That role took a night off.

Day Three: Sunday, March 4- Today, we faced the top seed in the conference in Davidson.  The general consensus at the Quality Inn was that we would be going home after the game ended at around 2 p.m.  We didn't let the team know that, and as a result, boy, were we wrong.  With our support, the Dogs bolted to a huge halftime lead, and didn't relent enough to let the Wildcats take the game from them.  I think of all the wins in the tournament, this was the biggest disappointment for the band and cheerleaders.  I had to let Amy know that once again, she'd have to wait another day for my return.

Text from Zac Schrieber: "Clayton, how about 2:00, Eastern time, tomorrow?"  I responded with a yes, knowing that I'd most likely be in a public area with band people.  Of course, I much rather would've been in a hotel room with everything conveniently nearby for me to take notes on the conversation, but I had to do what I had to do.  I stayed up late for no reason, and got rested for the hopefully excited day ahead.

Day Four: Monday, March 5- I had a very quiet and late breakfast at the hotel, joining about four others in the group that were the only ones awake at 10 in the morning.  The anticipation began as the word was passed on that Appalachian State's coach wanted to face the Bulldogs in the final, because she said my school's team didn't deserve it last time. That's motivation if ever there was need to be motivated at all.  I was able to find an outlet to work with my laptop charger, and found a public computer in the hotel.  I was able to write up my men's story, sans Tillette quotes, and talked to Joey Mullins about talking to Mike Morris.

We went to the Asheville mall for lunch and time-killing before the 5 p.m. tip time.  I called and talked to Jimmy Tillette in the middle of the mall and roamed around with my band friends until it was time to go.  We had several signs and t-shirts made up for the game, plus red and yellow cards to display when Mountaineers fouled our Bulldogs.  It was with immense spirit the band and cheerleaders walked into the Civic Center arena  that afternoon, and we passed that spirit on to the team while they were warming up.  We wanted this win.

The team wanted the win, too.  They got off to an 18-8 lead and never really lost control.  In the second half, App fought back for an eventual one-point lead, but the crowd support propelled the Bulldogs to recover.  In the band we were screaming and yelling and having trouble matching up with the cheerleaders because we had that much spirit.  In the end, Samford pulled off the 54-43 victory to claim its second straight SoCon title. We were victorious.  I say "we," because I credit the spirit squad (band and cheerleaders) and fan support for being the deciding factor in the girls' win.  Is it egotistical?  Sure, a little.  Realistic?  Most probably.  When they were taking the picture with the trophy, the team called the cheerleaders and band over to be in the picture with them, something that did not happen last year.  So it's absolutely certain that they appreciated our presence.

Back to the bus.  We had pizza and soda (Pepsi, of course, being in North Carolina) waiting for us so we could get home as soon as possible.  Before the game I talked with Joey Mullins and arranged to call Coach Morris around an hour after the game.  I waited an hour, but we were in the middle of a movie.  I waited for the end of the movie and a gas station stop to call the coach, but there was no response.  I ended up writing about ten questions I could ask when he called back, but he never did.  As a result, I never really got to sleep on the bus, though I tried.  We arrived back in Birmingham at around 12:40 in the morning.

Day Five: Tuesday, March 6- Now, it's time to celebrate.  The victory flag pep rally was at 10:45 a.m. and I was there as a band member and a Crimson reporter.  After several rounds of the fight song, I put my horn away to talk to Coach Morris.  I spoke with him and Paige Anderson, and plugged the quotes I received into my story by that evening.  While at the pep rally, I witnessed crews from several stations, including ABC 33/40 recording the event (You can see my critical review of 33/40's report here - I promise it's a lot shorter than my personal blog posts).  At the pep rally was when I had the discussion with Joey and Mr. Newton that inspired this post.  Mr. Newton told me I could be the only person in the nation to be doing the double-duty thing as a reporter and band member, I doubt it's true though.  If you know of any other instances in which this happened, and are still reading this post, leave me a comment.  Otherwise, come back next post.

Until then,
-Clayton

The Catsup Post

Catsup, of course, being pronounced "catch-up".

Cruise Chronicles 4 marked the start of a vast downward spiral for my work ethic last March, a spiral that ended in a 1.7 semester GPA and some drastic changes to my studies.

Before you get out of shape - because, obviously, my school career is of utmost importance to you - I'm still here at Samford, and I hit Dean's List last semester.

However, 2011 was a heck of a year for so many reasons.  First and foremost, I will have been dating the girl of my dreams for eleven months come the sixth of this month.  Herein, you may be able to begin speculating what caused my half-semester-long absence from my schooling.

I was enraptured, entranced, absolutely crazy out of my mind trying to put words and meaning to the fact that I was, indeed, in love.  From about the first of March until the end of spring break, I could not put a million words, let alone two or three, to what I was feeling.  I think, deep down, I knew, but it took a lot of coercing - mostly from Amy - for me to come to terms with the fact that I had a huge, major crush on the girl that once sat in front of me in CP class.

Well, it was an interesting April.  We began trying to work out our relationship; on April 6 we became Facebook official.  Just like any young relationship, there was a lot of growing and adjusting early on.  My adjusting included putting school on the back burner.

Exams came and went, and we had to say good-bye for the summer.  Amy was off to Costa Rica for a seven-week research project, while I returned home and began to look for a job.

After three days of hard-core searching near the end of  May, I found myself that job.  I was offered a job at the Exxon Tigermarket convenience store practically the moment I walked in.  What followed was two and a half months of gas, hot dogs, and cigarettes (only consuming the first two, but selling all three) and a steady income.

In midst of all the work, I had little time for fun.  I think I was able to get to a couple of different pool parties in Hendersonville over the summer, and I did take an overnighter to Alabama to visit Amy and watch the premiere of the final Harry Potter movie.  Five hours of driving, three hours of sleep (maybe) and another long drive home ended in a seven-hour work shift in which I did my job probably only half as well as I should have.  I survived, though, and life went on.

Sometime during the summer, I made the decision that in order to get through my schoolwork and do so successfully, the Facebook had to go.  And go it did.  With the exception of Fall Break and Thanksgiving (and maybe once to check it hadn't completely been erased), I was completely Facebook-less last semester.  The results showed; as I mentioned, my 3.54 GPA last semester was good enough for Dean's List and raised my cumulative GPA to 3.0.

And thus the Semester of Hard Work and No Social Life began.  Okay, I over-dramatize, but it seems like I had no social life sometimes.  The countless study dates with Amy kept time rolling and before we knew it we had been dating for five, six, seven months.  I had a great class load.  Even the boring gen-ed classes were entertaining enough.  I wrote one, sometimes two stories a week for the Samford Crimson (see my constantly growing portfolio here).  My primary concerns were for myself and my girlfriend, and it hurts me to say I became distant from a lot of other people that were once important to me.  We'll get to that in a while, but let's get the six-week interim between semesters.

I was not able to retain my Tigermarket job for the winter break, so I generally sat around the house throughout January.  I did have an incredibly epic trip the week after Christmas.  I went with three other members and two adult leaders of my scout troop, as well as two scouts and an adult from South Dakota, to Florida Sea Base in the Keys.  For a week, we lived on island time, with our only clocks being the sun and tides.  It was a really relaxing and fun week, certainly a lifetime experience that I will never forget.

Shortly after this, the monstrosity known as Step Sing took over my life.  I arranged the music for Gamma Sigma Sigma and AAA's show "User Friendly", based on the premise of the movie Tron: Legacy.

It's a love-hate relationship, me and Step Sing.  At times I want nothing to do with it, at other times I am beyond thankful for the opportunity I had.  Near the end, most of the hate was directed at procedure and contest results with which I strongly disagreed.  All in all, the love aspect came out on top.

After Step Sing, the theme of my life quickly became Reconnect.  For the past three weeks, I've been trying to resurrect my social life.  The best part of it all is that I'm balancing work with that now.  I've still got a lot of night-before-they're-due assignments, but I crack down on studying when I need to and hang out when I don't.  I've been getting into routines, too.  I clean the room every Friday, go to class during the week and do a combination of working, hanging out, eating and sleeping the rest of the time.  It's worked so far this semester.

Tomorrow, I head for the mountains of North Carolina to support the Samford basketball teams as they seek to dominate the Southern Conference.  Not having much schoolwork, you might be able to expect a post or two with details.  If not, I'll be back blogging tomorrow, next week, next month or, you know, whenever.

Oh yeah, that's one more thing.  I'm restructuring CUBS.  And by restructuring, I mean taking away all structure and just doing what I do: write.  Whenever I have time and/or feel motivated, I'll write on this blog.  And it's probably a safe bet to say I won't write this much in a post very often.

Lastly, scientists reported today that the sky is green, roses are blue and violets are, in fact, polka-dot.

Just checking to see if you were still reading.

-Clayton