I was bullied in high school. Not in a clear, obtrusive way. No, I was bullied behind my back.
There were whispers, of things I hadn't done nor would ever do. Somehow, these whispers always got back to me. It was destructive, although I didn't realize at the time how much of an impact those whispers had on me. In my eyes, I was smart. I was pretty, I was newspaper editor and was in this or that honor society. Everyone knows I was taking a million AP classes, so what did all this girls have against me?
All of these girls, all of these Gretchen Wieners. All of these mean girls.
Let me tell you something. I'm a junior in college, and it has taken me quite a long time to get past the bullying. Those girls were my friends at some point. All of them have been removed from my friends list. But do I still remember some of the instances when they would look at me and whisper, laugh as if I couldn't hear? Of course I remember, and I know those words in my yearbook weren't true. You weren't going to miss me, you didn't wish me the best. Those words of "good luck" and "have fun at Samford" - all of those words, you know what they did? They hurt, and so did knowing that I graduated with few close friends.
Bullying leads to depression. It leads to a lack of self-worth, a lowering of self-esteem that no kid should ever have to go through. There are plenty of examples on how bullying negatively affects people. One name: Adam Lanza.
I refuse to call him "the shooter" because I know that he, too, was a person. There is no doubt in my mind that killing is wrong, and even more so when the lives of innocent children are lost in what could have been prevented. However (big gasp), the investigation has shown that Lanza might have suffered from mental health issues. While everyone is debating gun control and their rights, I'm looking at the man. The boy. Adam Lanza, who was twenty years old. Twenty years old!
Those who are bullied need friends.
I had a friend, once. He carried me through high school like no other, being the absolutely selfless person that he is. He kept me from doing harm to myself when I was upset, when I was bullied. Maybe Adam Lanza just needed a friend. Maybe he needed someone to listen. Heck, maybe he just needed a diary. Now, I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I knew the guy personally and that I can read his mind. But one of my passions in life is learning about the human mind. My minor is in psychology. One of the things we talk about in each class is what defines "abnormal" - something that is harmful, hurtful, unhealthy. People don't just decide to pick up weapons, walk into a school and shoot at children. There must be something abnormal. Kids who are bullied, that stuff messes with you and causes you to do abnormal things. Everyone knows this. When you were a child and someone made fun of you, did you scream and cry?
Psychology and mental illness are not the only things to blame for what happened in Connecticut. I'm not saying mental illness led to the shooting. What I am saying is that everyone, including me (for I am not perfect), just needs to listen. Be mindful of what you say and what you do, love your friends and watch out for them. If a friend comes to you crying, give them a hug and listen. Everyone wants attention, when it all comes down to it. Everyone wants to feel loved.
Love is patient and kind.
