NFL Predictions 2009

My brother recently moved. Somewhere within the bustle of stuff that always comes with a move he discovered a flash drive that I used during my senior year of high school. As this was some - *eek* - nine years ago, I knew there would be some documents on this two-gigabyte "monstrosity" of a drive that had long escaped my memory.

Back in the dinosaur-conquering ages of 2009, 16 gigabytes of external storage was unheard of.

One such item on this long-forgotten memory stick was a Word doc entitled "NFL Predictions 2009" wherein I laid out my annual prognostication report for the upcoming 90th National Football League season. I took a brief look at it, not quite remembering exactly how that season panned out, and thought "hey, I should blog about this." So here goes nothing: my 2009 NFL predictions, unabridged, with actual results and further comments italicized.

NFL Predictions 2009

AFC

North
Pittsburgh 14-2 9-7
Baltimore 12-4 9-7
Cincinnati 6-10 10-6
Cleveland 5-11 5-11
So I got the Steelers and Bengals mixed up as far as division ranking and gave the Ravens a few too many wins, but overall not TERRIBLE on the AFC North. Yet. Not surprised I got those perennial cellar-dwellars on Lake Erie spot on (but hey, Baker Mayfield anyone?)

South
Tennessee 12-4 8-8
Indianapolis 11-5 14-2
Houston 8-8 9-7
Jacksonville 8-8 7-9
Unsurprisingly, my big miss in the South was my hometown team. Ah, back when I was still optimistic about the Titans. This was the CJ2K season too, and the team only managed to reach .500. Just a reminder that the Colts started this season 14-0 before Jim Caldwell decided to rest his starters and blow a perfect season.

East
New England 11-5 10-6
Buffalo 8-8 6-10
Miami 7-9 7-9
Jets 7-9 9-7
Just as the Browns never failed to live up to losing expectations in the aughts, the Patriots never failed to live up to their winning expectations. Somehow I nailed the 2008 division champs finishing 7-9 and in third place, but the Jets were a bit of a surprise grabbing a wild card berth.

West
San Diego (ha!) 10-6 13-3
Kansas City 5-11 4-12
Oakland 5-11 5-11
Denver 4-12 8-8
The AFC West wasn't *quite* as terrible as I thought it would be, but it was still the Chargers head and shoulders above the rest of the division. I'm trying to remember this 13-3 Chargers team and all I can think of was the Patriots beating them in the playoffs and doing Shawne Merriman's "Lights Out" dance postgame? Or was that a different season altogether? Leave it to the Bolts to be a forgotten contender.

Those powder blue throwbacks may have been the most memorable part of the 2009 Chargers season. How about a moment of appreciation for all the AFL throwback uniforms that year? Except for the Broncos. Burn theirs with fire.

NFC

North
Chicago 10-6 7-9
Green Bay 10-6 11-5
Minnesota 9-7 12-4
Detroit 2-14 (first win: Week 3 vs. Washington) 2-14
I flipped the Bears and Vikings; had I waited a year, I would've been tantalizingly close to perfect. In 2010 the Bears finished 11-5 and Green Bay was 10-6 during a season that culminated in the two teams playing for the NFC Championship. I was - once again - spot on with Detroit, down to predicting their first win of the season (At first glance I wondered why I predicted their first win and no one else's, then I remembered this was coming off that historical 0-16 season. Trying to guess when the losing streak would end was en vogue that August).

South
Atlanta 9-7 9-7
Carolina 8-8 8-8
New Orleans 7-9 13-3
Tampa Bay 5-11 3-13
I guess I was shocked by the Saints' Super Bowl run in 2009 since I left them out of the playoffs entirely during my preseason forecast. The rest of this division was as advertised, which is a little surprising considering how volatile the NFC South has been over the past decade and a half.

East
Giants 14-2 8-8
Dallas 12-4 11-5
Philadelphia 9-7 11-5
Washington 8-8 4-12
Well, I thought the NFC East was going to be AMAZING in 2009. Eli Manning and Jim Zorn (I literally had to look up who coached Washington that year and had forgotten Seattle Seahawks quarterback Jim Zorn spent two miserable years in the greater D.C. area) saw to it that I was mistaken. 

West
Arizona 10-6 10-6
San Francisco 8-8 8-8
Seattle 5-11 5-11
St. Louis (ha!) 2-14 1-15
I swear to Mike Holmgren leaving Reggie White a voice message that I did not alter this from the original. Speaking of the aforementioned Holmgren, this was Seattle's gap year between him and some guy who was seen as a great college coach and terrible NFL head man. Whoever that college coach was, I think he worked out OK in the Pacific Northwest.

I don't have anything witty for this; Brett Favre in purple just never ceases to amuse. I'm also in love with this underused Vikings uniform.

AFC Playoff Seeds

1. Pittsburgh Indianapolis
2. Tennessee San Diego (ha! again)
3. New England New England
4. San Diego Cincinnati
5. Baltimore NY Jets
6. Indianapolis Baltimore
Only one was in the right spot, but I correctly predicted four out of the six American Conference playoff teams. C-minus.

NFC Playoff Seeds

1. Giants New Orleans
2. Chicago Minnesota
3. Arizona Dallas
4. Atlanta Arizona
5. Dallas Green Bay
6. Green Bay Philadelphia
Three out of six for this one, and I missed both of the top two teams in the conference completely. THIS is the sort of inaccuracy I was expecting.

Wild Card Games
AFC: 3-New England over 6-Indianapolis, 5-Baltimore over 4-San Diego 6-Baltimore over 3-New England, 5-Jets over 4-Cincinnati
NFC: 3-Arizona over 6-Green Bay, 4-Atlanta over 5-Dallas 3-Dallas over 6-Philadelphia, 4-Arizona over 5-Green Bay
This was the last time to date New England has played a wild card playoff game. It was also the first season in the Belichick era the Patriots lost their postseason opener. Despite my horrific seeding predictions in the NFC, I was nonetheless able to predict an Arizona-Green Bay wild card game. Not only that, but the 51-45 overtime Cardinals victory that came from that matchup is one of the great wild card games in NFL history. Not too shabby.

Divisional Round
AFC: 1- Pittsburgh over 5-Baltimore, 2-Tennessee over 3-New England 1-Indianapolis over 6-Baltimore, 5-Jets over 2-San Diego
NFC: 1-Giants over 4-Atlanta, 2- Chicago over 3-Arizona 1-New Orleans over 4-Arizona, 2-Minnesota over 3-Dallas
I'm absolutely howling in laughter that I thought the Titans could beat the Patriots in the playoffs at any point in the past 17 years. I also remember why I - along with history - have forgotten the 13-3 Chargers. Losing to Rex Ryan, Mark Sanchez and the Jets with home field advantage and a week of rest will make a team forgettable really quick. My correct predictions were the Ravens and Cardinals both losing in this round. Still not great, but still not terrible.

AFC Championship
1-Pittsburgh over 2-Tennessee 1-Indianapolis over 5-Jets
NFC Championship
1-Giants over 2-Chicago 1-New Orleans over 2-Minnesota
I just realized that not only did NONE of my first-round bye predictions even make the playoffs, I also predicted all four of those teams - again, none of whom even ended up in the chase - to play for their conferences' championships. My prognostication expertise shining through. I feel just like Brett Favre throwing to Tracy Porter in that NFC title game.

SUPER BOWL XLIV
New York Giants over Pittsburgh Steelers New Orleans Saints over Indianapolis Colts
Preseason prediction advice: Definitely pit the last two Super Bowl winners against each other; seeing as that's never happened before or since in NFL history, it seems like a safe bet. Oh well, at least I got a Manning in there

Actual Super Bowl champ Drew Brees met up with my predicted Super Bowl champ Eli Manning to share a chuckle over my prognostication incompetence.

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In summary, this is nowhere near as cringe-worthy or egregiously incorrect as I was thinking it might be. I can't wait to see what other teenage nonsense I dig up during my search.